“Should”…”Says Who?”

“The word ‘should’ always invites the question ‘according to whom?’” -Gavin deBecker

“I should be better than I am.” “According to whom?”

“You should have this style of Jiu Jitsu.” “According to whom?”

“You should be working on such and such.” “According to whom?”

“You should be such-and-such belt.” “According to whom?”

“You should roll with so-and-so.” “According to whom?”

Maybe it’s according to your coach. Listen. Maybe it’s according to yourself. Temper it and gain perspective. Maybe it’s according to a different teammate or person on the mat. Weigh it, consider it, or let it go. 

Be careful who gets to speak the “shoulds” in your life. Not everyone is entitled to have that say in every area.

Want to mess with your head? Listen to everyone’s “shoulds” as though they are facts. 

“According to whom?” …easily my new favorite filter.