Iâve always been called âtough.â Growing up and over time, I found pride in the fact that people thought I was tough. Composed. Not super emotional. Able to roll with the punches. Able to emotionally and physical handle hard things. Toughness became a part of my identity. It wasnât until 35 years of age that I began to recognize that my perception of who I was had completely morphed into…
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Show Up Anyway
My freshman year of soccer, I saved a goal with a header, but took the opposing teamâs header to the face in the second following. I got knocked out and woke up on the ground with my eye already swelling shut. Within 5 minutes, my eye was shut, swollen, and nasty. Fortunately, we didnât have phone cameras in 2000. . In the days following, the swelling went away. In the…
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Have An Injury? Good. Get To Work…
So you have an injury? Good. -Jocko (basically, but probably) Thereâs no way around it-injuries suck. And if you are someone who has a sport they love to do, like Jiu Jitsu, then they can really, really suck. You can wallow in self pity and cry and complain, and you know what, I think those things are completely fine to do and easy to justify doingâŚfor a minute. Then, youâve…
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Fighting My Body & Mind
Laying, stretching out my neck and letting my arm rest (because it doesnât want to function anyway) and having a brain war about whether I should cry in frustration vs. reminding myself that itâs part of the healing process. I havenât cried yet. Doesnât mean I wonât. And if I do, itâs not the end of the world. But, I am actively trying to win a game in my head…
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Learning To Extend Myself & Others Grace
When I experience negative things in life, I like to think that I now have one more experience with which I can understand someone else. When I started experiencing anxiety in Jiu Jitsu, I figured that once I overcame it, or at the very least learned how to operate with it, I would be an even better coach as I had a new perspective. It doesnât take a lot of…
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Active-Passiveness
âJohn Leach uses the term âactive-passiveness,â meaning, âthe ability to accept the situation one is in but without giving in to itâŚââ -From Deep Survival Halfway through reading Deep Survival, a book recommended to me by my friend, Tom, I mysteriously injured my neck. At first it just felt âout,â but it quickly progressed to 24/7 pain running down my arm and back, less than 3 hours of sleep each…