I’ve always been called “tough.” Growing up and over time, I found pride in the fact that people thought I was tough. Composed. Not super emotional. Able to roll with the punches. Able to emotionally and physical handle hard things. Toughness became a part of my identity. It wasn’t until 35 years of age that I began to recognize that my perception of who I was had completely morphed into…
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Show Up Anyway
My freshman year of soccer, I saved a goal with a header, but took the opposing team’s header to the face in the second following. I got knocked out and woke up on the ground with my eye already swelling shut. Within 5 minutes, my eye was shut, swollen, and nasty. Fortunately, we didn’t have phone cameras in 2000. . In the days following, the swelling went away. In the…
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Have An Injury? Good. Get To Work…
So you have an injury? Good. -Jocko (basically, but probably) There’s no way around it-injuries suck. And if you are someone who has a sport they love to do, like Jiu Jitsu, then they can really, really suck. You can wallow in self pity and cry and complain, and you know what, I think those things are completely fine to do and easy to justify doing…for a minute. Then, you’ve…
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Fighting My Body & Mind
Laying, stretching out my neck and letting my arm rest (because it doesn’t want to function anyway) and having a brain war about whether I should cry in frustration vs. reminding myself that it’s part of the healing process. I haven’t cried yet. Doesn’t mean I won’t. And if I do, it’s not the end of the world. But, I am actively trying to win a game in my head…
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Learning To Extend Myself & Others Grace
When I experience negative things in life, I like to think that I now have one more experience with which I can understand someone else. When I started experiencing anxiety in Jiu Jitsu, I figured that once I overcame it, or at the very least learned how to operate with it, I would be an even better coach as I had a new perspective. It doesn’t take a lot of…
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Active-Passiveness
“John Leach uses the term “active-passiveness,” meaning, ‘the ability to accept the situation one is in but without giving in to it…’” -From Deep Survival Halfway through reading Deep Survival, a book recommended to me by my friend, Tom, I mysteriously injured my neck. At first it just felt “out,” but it quickly progressed to 24/7 pain running down my arm and back, less than 3 hours of sleep each…